I think I won the penis lottery.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
