oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
