i would punch a child for taco bell
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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