Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
