and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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