wat bout pragnant strippers??
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
did you just send me my own nude
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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