I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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