ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
