Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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