oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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