So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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