is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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