At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
