I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We need a shit load of segways right now
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
