all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
