I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
