Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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