went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
