I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
