i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
