that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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