So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize