This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
handjob tips. give me some.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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