Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
