First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
