He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The ass gains better be worth it
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