I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
