dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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