girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize