My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
