I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
