I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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