I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize