You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
