There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
