Me. At least after what I've been through.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
