So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
