I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
