Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
