i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
