It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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