New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
