I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
