Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize