I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
