my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
