Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
