Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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