Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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