Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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