Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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