He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
