I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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