She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
