you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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