Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
