I faked an abortion last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
