you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
