So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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