My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
