so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
