are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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