On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
