I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
