It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
