The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize