I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
worst night to have a conscience
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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