You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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