I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Enjoy the penises
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Holy shit dude........stairs
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
