yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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