I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
