I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
