fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
