my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
