I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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