would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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