I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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