I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
