Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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