Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
