The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
