If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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