Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
