As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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